White people with good intentions, fucking things up: Episode III
Let me preface this by saying that I have nothing against caucasians. I love white folks, they’re very entertaining. I just like to pop a lot of shit, and what I’m putting down here is the same stuff I say to my white friends on a regular basis. If it doesn’t bother them, it shouldn’t bother you. If it does…I don’t care. Really, I don’t. With that said, I bring to you the third installment in a series of what I like to call “Miguel-isms”.
Chapter 1: Fergie Ruined The Black Eyed Peas
Chapter 2: People Who Would Be Happier If Gwen Stefani Didn’t Exist
Chapter 3: Maury Povich doesn’t care about black people*
I don’t watch this train wreck of a TV show, but I occasionally catch it as I flip through the channels in the morning. What I’ve noticed is, the topics are the same, every fuckin day. Either a chick is having her 9th DNA test, or some dude is failing a lie detector test (“It’s broke Maury, that machine is broke !!!”). And what’s with everybody running off stage when they don’t get the answer they like ? Or the dude jumping up and dancing when we hear the classic words “When it comes to 10 month old Ashinkashay, Rico, you are NOT the father !”
Shit is old, get a new go-to move. Back in the day when Michael Jordan kept getting knocked on his ass when he went to the rack, he developed the most lethal jumpshot in the game. This is what future Maury guests need to do. Develop a jumpshot. When you find out nigga #8 ain’t yo baby daddy, don’t run backstage and cry, pick up a chair and throw it…kick Maury in the nuts…take the results and rip them up, yelling “This nigga gotta be the daddy, Maury, look at the noooooose, loooooook aaaaat the nooooooooose !!! It’s broke Maury, that machine is broke !!!”. I figure if you’re gonna be ig’nant, at least be original. Ya dig ? But seriously, we need to stop supporting this stuff. If we stop whoring ourselves on TV for a free trip to NYC, then it would all go away. How can you even justify putting yourself in that position to be clowned anyway ? I couldn’t do it. As for Maury, I remember when he used to be a respected journalist, and now he’s one of this country’s leaders when it comes to pushing ig’nance in the hood. I’m suprised 50 & Tony Yayo don’t do the opening theme song. Just say no to Maury.
Coming Soon: Nick Lachey – Bitch Nigga
*Trailer park crackas, my Latin brethren, broke Asians…in the eyes of the media and those in high places, you’s a nigga too. Raise your glasses and drink wit ya boy. Salud.
The Life & Times Of A Habitual Linestepper 
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