Archive for August, 2005

The Pussycat Dolls are releasing an album next month . WTF ?

No shit. I can’t make this stuff up…I’m sure you’ve heard the song “Don’t Cha” everytime you get in your car and turn on the radio. Well, someone thought it was a good idea to allow these chicks to record a full-fledged album. Why ? I don’t know. Especially when you consider that only one of them is an actual singer (Next time you listen to it, notice that the background vocals aren’t any of the girls, but those of Cee-lo, of Goodie Mob…he produced the track). The Pussycat Dolls, 2005:
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For those who don’t know, The Pussycat Dolls are a burlesque troupe that performs here in Hollywood. They became famous when Carmen Electra was featured in some of their routines…since then, Gwen Stefani, Eva Longoria, Christina Aguilera, and others have been part of the act. But anyway, they’ve moved into the world of music. And the way they’ve done it is actually quite funny. At least to me. The Pussycat Dolls 2 years ago:

It’s funny because that same song was released last year by a chick named Tori Alamaze…and I hated it then, as much as I do now. I would be doing DJ gig’s with my boy, and we’d pretend that we didn’t even have it when people asked for it. Imagine our surprise when we were setting up for a gig a couple months ago and we see the Pussycat Dolls and Busta Rhymes on tv performing it. So, I started to investigate, and eventually stumbled across what happened. Basically, ole girl got screwed over. Tori’s story can be read here:Tori Alamaze interview

So, in a nutshell, The Pussycat Dolls Lounge has just opened at Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas, and these chicks are gonna build a musical career based off a buzz created by someone else, and most likely succeed…while Tori is stuck braiding Alicia Keys’ hair or some shit. Sucks huh ?

Even in the face of tragedy, racism is in full effect

I’m watching this coverage of Hurricane Katrina, and I’m hearing these (white)newscasters talking about the looting and how terrible it is, these (niggas)people need to be stopped by force, “This is so wrong”, “I would never do such a thing”, “Only (niggas)looters are out on the street”, “These (niggas)people are the lowest form of life”, “And (the niggas)they’re all carrying guns from the pawn shop that was looted”, “They shootin”…ok, I made that last one up, but you see where I’m going.
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Now, while I don’t think these people should be out robbing Wal-Mart and taking tv’s and shit, but I don’t see anything wrong with people taking food, drink and supplies to help themselves. Once the first dude went in, it became an “I better get this shit now before it’s too late” situation. That’s why it looks worse than it is, basic survival skills are kicking in. But lil homie, you don’t need a flat screen and a ps2…The power is out, the levee breaks are getting worse, and the pump systems are about to fail. Your new come up will most likely be 20 feet underwater next week. Nigga, steal a canoe. Take a raft, an air mattress, water wings, something that’s going to help you survive. But anyway, I’m getting off track. While watching these (white)newscasters speak with such disgust about the looters,I think to myself, “how come I only see black faces in these videos ? I know there are more than just black people left in New Orleans”. An hour or so passes, and I see a “Heroic story of survival” coming up. So, they tell the story of 3 (white)women on vacation. They can’t get back to their hotel, no food, no water, yada yada yada. Same story as everyone else, right ? These chicks went into a convienience store and stole food, then went into another store, stole some clothes, and said that they would continue to do so as long as they had to…and the (white)newscaster said “Well, do what you have to do to stay safe”. What. The. Fuck ? Just an hour ago, you wanted the National Guard to shoot (niggas)looters on sight, now it’s okay ? Hell to the naw. About another hour has passed, and they’re talking to “John”, 37 year old banker from New Orleans, who has been out (actin like a nigga)looting shit for his family. Not a negative word is said about him, but a “We’ll keep you and your family in our prayers”…ain’t that a bitch ? But what sealed the deal for me, and inspired me to write this was the picture that was emailed to me this morning. Click the pic:
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How come the brotha is described as a “looting” food from a grocery store, but the white couple is described as “finding” food from a grocery store ? That’s bullshit. But, like I said, even in the face of tragedy, racism is in full effect. The media outlets are saying things like “This is terrible”, “The looting must stop”, “Where are the police ?” but all I’m hearing is “I hate niggers”, “These fucking niggers need to be dealt with cause it’s not safe for the white population left in New Orleans”, “Black people are scum”, “I hope all these worthless niggers die”. And as I type this, CNN is conducting an email and telephone poll: “What should be done about the looting ?” a.k.a “Tell us what you think about these niggers…”, as if that’s the most important thing right now.
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It’s official…

R Kelly is fuckin crazy…I just watched his one man performance of “Trapped In The Closet” on the MTV awards…the nigga’s crazy. Point Blank. There’s no other way to describe it. He played himself, Kathy, her husband Rufus the gay pastor, his boyfriend, Chuck and the dude who answers his phone when he calls home to his wife. Thank God for TiVo, cause this is a keeper.

I changed the template

and lost everything…all the links and shit. Now I gotta start over. Damn you, Blogger !

I just decided

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That I need 4 Japanese chicks to follow me around everywhere I go, like Gwen Stefani. That’s gangsta shit. Somebody gets out of line, my girls could beat the living piss out of them…I wish I had thought of it first.

Who are you ?

How To Judge People Based On Their Drink Orders

Bartenders Psychology:
Before you order a drink in public, you should read this!

Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer
Personality: Causal, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the ass.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very picky
taste; knows EXACTLY what she wants.
Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her. If she’s interested, she’ll send YOU a drink………………

Drink: Wine (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel
Personality: Easy, thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually,
she has NO clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is…this should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots
Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get
totally drunk … and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed.
Nothing to do but wait, however, be careful not to make her mad!

Drink: Tequila
No explanations required — everyone just KNOWS what happens there.

THEN, there is the MALE addendum —-
The deal with guys is, as always, very simple and clear cut:

Domestic Beer: He’s poor and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Wine: He is hoping that the wine will give him a sophisticated image to help him get laid.

Whiskey: He doesn’t give a damn about anything but getting laid.

Tequila: He is thinking he has a chance with the toothless waitress.

White Zinfandel: He’s gay

If you’re having a bad day…

Click this, it’ll make you feel better…trust me.

This is a MUST read !!!!

There is no point to this post. It is just here to fill up space. I commend you if you have even read this far into it. If for some reason you have spent your time reading this, then I am obligated by the laws of the universe to let you know that you have way too much time on your hands, and that you suck. Not only that, but by reading this entire post, I have successfully stolen about a minute or so of your life which you will never get back. Have a nice day.

Rules Of The Crackhouse

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20 years of hard livin’

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This shit needs no punch line.