Archive for December, 2005

People suck

Yeah, I said it. People fuckin suck. Why is it that whenever people need something, I’m usually the first to respond ? And get made to feel like the asshole when I can’t help. But it’s funny that whenever I need something, these bitches are nowhere to be found ? Their phones never get answered, they never come to the door when you ring the bell…it’s like they were abducted by aliens like in The 4400. Then they’re gonna come back, like “what’s up ?”…like I haven’t been leaving voicemails or emails for the past 3 days. “Fuck yo couch, nigga…that’s what’s up”. That’s my New Years resolution. Get new friends. See, most people got it all wrong. Forget losing weight, forget trying to stop smoking, forget about trying to change yourself for other people. Just change people. Get a new team. That’s my plan.

“If you can’t respect that your whole perspective is wack
Maybe you’ll love me when I fade to black”

-Shawn Carter

What’s your "Prison Bitch" name ?

Mine is “Nut Buster”…I think it fits.

Click Here For Your Prison Bitch Name

Thought of the day

You achieve total enlightenment when you realize that everything in your life is an illusion.

To the 5 or 6 of you

…that take the time to read my ramblings, Merry Christmas muhfuckas !

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I wonder if this causes problems at home ?

I’m listening to the radio today, and I relaize that Slim Thug is on Beyonce’s new single. Not really thing out of place there until you think about the fact that his woman has been beefing with Beyonce and Kelly since they kicked her and the other one out of Destiny’s Child a couple years back. Things that make you say “Hmmmmm ?”. He’s not getting any ass for a while.

Viva Las Vegas, bitches

Recently, I’ve been joking with a lot of my friends about starting up a “Move Miguel to Las Vegas” fund. But during an IM session the other day, the moment of clarity came. I should really do it. I don’t even know how many people have said to me “Now I’ll have a place to stay when I go back !”. Even though I say otherwise, it’s not like I’d turn anyone down, but, I need to find a way to take advantage of the situation. This is what I came up with:

As one who donates* to the fund, on your first trip to visit, you are entitled to 3 days, 2 nights of accomodation. Food, beverage, lodging, enteratainment and transportation included. All subsequent trips will consist of a similar deal, except the visitor will pay for food and beverage, including mine.

That’s a helluva deal. Come to Vegas, and all you gotta do is feed me and buy a nigga a few drinks ? Who wouldn’t go for that ? So, to get down with this plan, hit up me up for info. Cash, check, money order and paypal accepted.

*Actual length of first visit depends on donation amount. May be shorter or longer than 3 days, 2 nights. It is negotiable.

Simple things make me laugh

Reality show idea

Forget “Dancing With The Stars”, I wanna see a dance-off between:

Sean Paul


Michelle from Destiny’s Child


That shit would be hilarious. I’d watch that show every damn week, and TiVo it as well. It would be possibly the best unintentional comedy on tv since MC Hammer & Emmanuel Lewis had bunk beds on Surreal Life. I need to make some calls…

What’s bothering me today…

I want some juice…but there isn’t any here 😦

When people pull turn in front of you and drive really slow…you saw me coming down the street at 45mph(in a 35 zone) before you made that right hand turn in to my lane. Why are you doing 10mph ? Speed up bitch !

I just found out that my ex is now living in Cabo San Lucas. If anyone should be posted up in Cabo, it’s me. Not her.

It’s cold in here, so I’m about to go turn the heat on.

The Lakers are playing tonight, I bet they’re gonna lose.

My knee hurts.

If I hear that damn “Laffy Taffy” song one more time, I’m gonna kick somebody

I’ll add on as things pop up…

Friday funny

Click to enlarge

Public Service Announcement – 12/05/05

“What’s wrong nigga, you got the bubblies ?” – Snoop Dogg in “The Wash”

Click Here To See The P.S.A. for November

I say, let me learn ya somethin’

Because I’m too lazy to come up with something witty right now, watch this . Turn your speakers on for audio.

Nigga, why are you single ?

This was inspired by Hawaiian Sophie’s blog about people questioning her about being a single chick, so I decided to put the Miguel twist on the same question, since it seems to be on everybody’s mind these days. So here’s the sitcha-ation. I’ve spent the majority of the past 5 years running around from city to city, country to country on these floating resorts called cruise ships, and being a part of that life, really doesn’t lend much time to being in a committed relationship. Especially when I’m away from L.A. for months at a time, I couldn’t give much attention to just one person. Hanging out and partying with a new group of passengers every 7-14 days (depending on the ship), and all the crewmembers that you come in contact with, you almost have to be single. Now that I’m not cruising anymore, I still have the “let’s party” mentality, even though 95% of my friends are now married with children. I enjoy the fact that I can go out whenever I feel like it, with whoever I feel like going with, and I don’t have to feel guilty about neglecting a girlfriend. Or getting hit with the “Where are you going? Where have you been ? Who were you with ?” trifecta. Life is good. I figure that I have a good 5 year run left in me before it’s time to tap out and settle down. So, if you wanna take the kid out for drinks, or you have a fine ass friend/sister/cousin, send her my way. 🙂

I laugh at others’ mistakes…

Yes I do. If you fuck up, I’m gonna laugh at you too. Why ? Because I’m an asshole. I know what you’re thinking, “He makes fun of others, but probably can’t take it when people laugh at him…” Wrong…WRONG!!!* I can take a joke better than most, hell, take a look at my photo album. There’s lots of less than flattering pics of me floating around. With that said, when you mess up, most likely I’m gonna be the laughter you hear in the background.

*Charlie Murphy style