Chapter 1: Fergie ruined the Black Eyed Peas
“My Humps” is the worst song I’ve heard in a long time. First of all, how are you gonna have a chick with NO ass, and a chest like mine, singing about her “hump and her lovely lady lumps” ? That’s false advertising.
They could have at least found a chick with a body like Beyonce and put her on the record. It could have been “My Humps” by Black Eyed Peas feat. Keyshia “Butterface” Cole. Now those are some lovely lady lumps. But only a genius such as myself would even think of it. But I digress…What the hell happened to the Black Eyed Peas ? They went from “Joints & Jams” to doing duets with Justin Timberlake* ? Maybe if it came from a different group, I could accept it. But to watch the evolution of Black Eyed Peas over the past few years is just sad. When I think “Wack”, I think BEP. And it all started when the white girl showed up.
They were doing alright when they had the occasional guest vocalist on their songs…Macy Gray, Esthero, Kim Hill, etc. But they had to go for the full-time fourth member. And that threw off the entire balance. Think about it, back in the day when they performed, you would get a show. Every video had like a 30-35 second gap where these fools would be breakin’ like it was ’86 all over again. Now they just stand to the side doing some generic points and poses while Fergie and 4 other chicks who can’t dance try to pull of some sort of choreographed chaos. They’ve gone from being the quintessential hip-hop crew, to cookie-cutter pop stars.
And what’s going on in this pic ? Does she have sweaty puss or did she piss on herself ? Either way, shit’s funny.
Chapter 2: People who would be happier if Gwen Stefani didn’t exist
*Recurring character in this ongoing saga