Archive for April, 2006

Random Question

If a rabbits foot is so lucky, what about the fuckin rabbit ? He ‘s got 4, but his ass is still dead. Unless it’s a 3 legged rabbit named Tripod.

To the lovely young lady

…who made it a point to email me and say that the Suns were gonna sweep the Lakers. Series tied 1-1 (the Lakers should be up 2-0), with the next 2 games at Staples Center…how are you feeling right about now ? And the play that sealed the victory ? Kobe shows Steve Nash that he, not Nash was the real MVP was this season. Shit’s disgusting.

Nick Lachey Is A Bitch

Ok, Jessica left. We get it. I don’t need to see him EVERYWHERE to reinforce this point. Everytime I turn on the tv, listen to the radio, go to the supermarket, he’s there. Shit, I can’t even check my email without Yahoo! having a Nick/Jessica story on the front page. But that’s not why he’s a bitch…it’s the constant whining and crying that irks me. She left you, so what ? You’re not the first and won’t be the last dude to get dumped, deal with it. As my man Dave Chappelle once said, “Tough break, nigga…”. Even Justin Timberlake’s punkass didn’t go out like this. He jumped right back out there dated a couple Hollywood types, then recorded a mighty fine “fuck you” song just for Britney. Then he went on to pull Janet Jackson’s titty out at the Super Bowl, and started dating an A-list actress. Mr. Lachey, “What’s Left Of Me” is no “Cry Me A River”. It may as well be called “Baby Please Come Back Cause I’m A Simp…Let Me Hold 10 Dollars”. If it was me, I’d be tagging all kinds of choice Hollywood ass right now. You’re hot shit right now, take advantage. Stop crying.

Because EVERYBODY needs to see this…8 minutes of pure comic gold

So, I’m bouncing around, checking out blogs today, and I see this posted @ Take It Outside, Bitch !. Believe me when I tell you that I couldn’t even make it all the way through, the shit is so funny. I know that i said the video of “Stomper” (scroll down) was the best ever, but this one just knocked it out of the #1 spot. Damn, I love YouTube.

This shit made my day. “CUT THIS BITCH OFF, NEXT CALLER !!!”

Sunday shit…

Because I’m too lazy to come up with anything today(and the NBA Playoffs are on), watch these videos and enjoy them like I did. Chuuuch.

Midget Kickboxing

Midget Breakdancing

Knock Knock…

Ladies, if some random old dude knocks on your door offering free breast exams and you let him in, I won’t feel sorry for you when you find out it wasn’t a real doctor playing with your titties. Not one iota of sympathy. Click here for the story: Put Em On The Glass

The fact that my man said to himself, “Self, we haven’t rubbed a titty in a while. I think it’s been to long. What shall we do, what shall we do ?”. After thinking it over for about 43 seconds…”I got it ! I can pretend to be a doctor, who’s going door to door, giving free breast exams ! That’s a brilliant idea.” The fact that he pulled off this ignant shit not once, but twice, earns him a spot on the “Nigga Of The Year” ballot.


Anyone who knows me, already knows that I love mascots. Doesn’t matter what it is, people in costumes crack me the fuck up. I don’t know why, I just get a kick out of them. This is a clip of the Oakland A’s mascot, Stomper, gettin hyphy and going dumb. If you’ve never been, the Bay Area is like no where else. This “hyphy” movement is proof of that. EVERYBODY is into it…even the mascots. Watch & enjoy:

Thought Of The Moment

You achieve total enlightenment when you realize that everything in your life is an illusion.

Powerful Lyrics v3.0

June’s homie Nev has a list of “Powerful Lyrics” on his blog. You know, the lines that just reach out and touch the depths of your soul. June has followed suit, and come up with a list of her own. I decided to jump on the bandwagon and come up with a list of my own…but my list is a little different. All these songs touch me, but for a different reason. These are some lines from some of the most arrogant and assholish songs in the world, and I love them.

I got a penthouse in Manhattan, two more in Malibu.
I bought a ’87s Cadillac Seville, girl I got a Mazarati too.
I wear diamonds on my fingers, I got a couple on my toes.
I wear the finest perfume money can buy, it keeps me smellin’ like a rose.
If you wonder how I do it, there’s just one simple rule.
I’m just cool. (Cool !)

Honey, baby, can’t you see?
Girl, I’m so cool. (Cool !)
Ain’t nobody bad like me
What’s that spell?
“Cool” – The Time

You looked like you ain’t been boned in a while
Pick up the motherfucking phone and dial
And have your money in a big ass stack
I’m slingin this dick like a new jack, (Bitch), so
“Bitch Betta Have My Money” – AMG

This one takes me back to my high school days. From the opening “Awwwwwwwwwwww shit” (which STILL gets people to the dance floor with no delay), this song has “I can’t believe he said that” all over it.

Sometimes I park in the handicapped spaces
While handicapped people
Make handicapped faces
I’m an asshole(he’s an asshole, what an asshole)
I’m an asshole(he’s a real fucking asshole)
“Asshole” – Dennis Leary

I’m sorry, this song is just funny, I don’t care who you are.

Some believe in Jesus
Some believe in Allah
But niggaz like me believe im making dollars
Cause even when yo niggaz wanna be untrue
You know the money’s still good to you
Yes, Yes
Some believe in love and some believe in friends
But niggaz like me believe in making ends
Cause even when yo bitch wants to trick around
You know the moneys got you safe and sound
“Safe & Sound” – DJ Quik

Ahhh, the wisdom of David Blake. This song represents what most people think, but don’t want to admit. It’s brilliant.

I’m bailin in the spot, just flossin’ bitch
Steppin on shoes, disrespecting, and tossin shit
When I’m outside nigga I’ma piss on your whip
Fuck the bartender, nah I ain’t leavin a tip
“Fuck Yo Couch” – Bailey

The Unofficial theme song of this blog. Not too many people even know about this song, but it worked it’s way from the Bay Area down here to L.A., and it’s another brilliant piece of work. But what seals the deal is the line “I don’t gotta be in your house to fuck up your couch”. Listen for yourself: Fuck Yo Couch

Kevin Federline officially has been granted nigga status

I knew the day would come, I just didn’t know it would be this soon. K-Fed is no longer honorary, he’s now official. This, plus other events, makes him eligible for the 2006 “Nigga Of The Year” award.

Child Welfare Visits Spears’ Home
Tue Apr 11, 5:41 PM ET

Child welfare officials and a sheriff’s deputy visited the home of Britney Spears but declined to say Tuesday whether they were investigating the pop princess.

Spears and her husband, Kevin Federline, are the parents of an infant son, Sean Preston.

The Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services and the Lost Hills sheriff’s station declined to give details of Saturday afternoon’s visit.

“It’s a very standard, routine patrol request,” Lt. Debra Glaskides said Tuesday. “We just roll out with them. We stood by, we took no action, no report or anything.”

The Sheriff’s Department said it was a DCFS matter and couldn’t release any information. Glaskides said there may not even be a DCFS investigation, noting it may have been only a welfare check.

Phone and e-mail messages left for Spears’ New York publicist, Leslie Sloane Zelnik, weren’t immediately returned.

In February, DCFS visited Spears’ home after publication of photographs showing the 24-year-old singer driving with then 4-month-old Sean Preston in her lap, rather than in a car seat as required by law.

Spears later apologized, saying she did it because of a “horrifying, frightful encounter with the paparazzi.”

DCFS director Louise Grasmehr didn’t return a phone message left Tuesday at her Los Angeles office. The department routinely refuses to discuss cases, citing confidentiality laws.