"They Fuck You At The Drive Thru" -Joe Pesci

Why is it when you order stuff at a drive-thru, they always try to sell you shit that you don’t want ? Before you can even finish speaking, they’re trying to give you a pie or something. Then get mad at you when they mess up your order. Example…I’m at Jack In The Box earlier, and the convo went like this:

Me: Gimme a #3 with a…
Broad In The Speakerbox: (Before I can even say the rest of what I want)Do you want the combo ?
Me: (Answer given so they don’t jack off in my shake) “Yes.”(What I was really thinking was “Is the #3 just an order of fries ? Of course, I want the combo, otherwise I would have asked for just a Jumbo Jack, dumbass”)
Broad In The Speakerbox: That’ll be $4.03
Me: I’m not done.
Broad In The Speakerbox: Okay
Me: I want a #6 with a sprite…
Broad In The Speakerbox: Would you like try our cheesecake ?
Me: We can talk about the cheesecake when I finish my order…mmmmkay ? I would like a #3 with a chocolate shake, and a #6 with a sprite, and 2 tacos. No cheesecake. How much is that ?
Broad In The Speakerbox: Uhruh…come to the window. (Obviously, I’ve confused her cause I don’t want any cake)

Now before I go on, keep in mind that there are no cars in front or behind me, we’re the only car. I pull up to the window, and I pay for the edibles. She comes back with my change, and the drinks…a coke and a strawberry soda. She goes to pick up the food from wherever it comes from, and here’s what happens next…

Me: I didn’t order these
Broad At The Window: Yes you did.
Me: Ummmm, no. I asked for a sprite with one combo and a chocolate shake with the other.
Broad At The Window: (As she looks up at the screen)You asked for a coke and a scrawburry. (Yes she said “scrawburry”, in a thick spanish accent).
Me: You’re wrong. Here.

So we make a trade. I give her the messed up drink order, she hands me the food. The whole time, she’s giving me attitude like it’s my fault, and insisting that I asked for a coke and a scrawburry. So, my cousin is going through the bag, and tells me “This isn’t our stuff”. So, now me and Rosa have to go at it again…she hands me the drinks, I hand her the bag and say…

Me: This is the wrong order.

At this point, she’s pissed. Miss Sassy goes…

Broad At The Window: Then what did you order ?
Me: You tell me.
Broad At The Window: A #4 with a scrawburry, a #7 with a sprite, and a chicken ciabatta.
Me: No. You just brought me a coke and a scrawburry, and the bag has a bunch of stuff that I didn’t order. Everything you just read back to me, I didn’t want. It can’t belong to the car behind or in front of me, cause I’m the only car here. The errors are taking place on that side of the window, mmmkay ?

After a couple minutes, Sassy Hernandez comes back and basically throws the bag to me. No “I’m sorry for the mix-up”, nothing. Gives me the bag and closes the window. So, me being the asshole that I am, I notice the security camera and monitor through the window and proceed to give it the finger for 30 seconds while mouthing the words “dumbass idiot”, then drive away. Maybe, just maybe, if they would take the time to listen to what I’m asking for, instead of trying to sell me stuff I don’t want, then there wouldn’t be these problems. I’m sure someone jacked off in my chocolate shake.

2 responses

  1. jk with an E

    this by far is the funniest shit i’ve read so far….
    “sassy hernandez” (((LOL)))
    “scrawburry” (((ROTFLMMFAO)))
    i can so see you proceed to give it the finger for 30 seconds while mouthing the words “dumbass idiot”
    …they do “fuck you @ the drive thru”

    October 25, 2005 at 4:53 am

  2. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored at work so I decided to browse your website on my iphone during lunch break. I love the info you present here and can’t wait
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    July 29, 2013 at 12:18 pm

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